Football Names

Fall is one of my favorite times of the year. There’s a crackling energy in the air; it cools down a bit from the muggy languor of late summer; there’s new music, books, and TV coming out every week; and the most important thing: football’s back, baby!!

College ball began last week, and last night was the NFL opener between Dallas & the NY Giants. Catching part of the opener really reminded me that while I love almost everything about football, one of my very favorite things? Players’ names. There’s a fun and theatricality about them that is really indicative of the spirit of football as a whole: they were meant to be spoken on national television in their full glory, paired with the visual power of a ball arcing high across a field while everyone holds their breath, before it hits the very edge of a receiver’s fingertips, and he miraculously tips it into the palm of his extended hand, as his foot just edges into the endzone. Touchdown, touchdown! VAN CHEW! It’s just so fitting. (And, yes, that is a real name.)

Some of my favorites — say any of their names three times in a row to be transported to the 50-yard line!

  • Spiffy Evans
  • Prince Amukamara
  • LaRod Stephens-Howling
  • Munchie Legaux
  • Skylar Stormo

And my all-time favorite:

  • D’Brickashaw Ferguson

    Yeah, he thinks it’s funny too.

(Top photo courtesy of The Chive. Bottom photo courtesy of


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